Stefanimonster

Ok...look, I really do want to make this blog work.

The only thing I remember about my dream last night is that I was supposed to be Gwen Stefani's tour manager for one night in Connecticut, which basically meant I got to hold and cuddle her unnamed, sexless baby. Gwen was kind of stand offish and mean. Then we went to a mall and I kind of don't really remember anyting.

That was a really lame dream I know. I just am sorry that I am so cyclical with this blog. I will try to be bettah.

On Cruise with Clooney

Last night my subconscious finally got it right. Sort of. I dreamt I was on a cruise with George Clooney (who wore a tux the whole time) a 35 year old lady i've never met and her six year old son. The four of us shared a cabin, and yes I shared a bed with Clooney. Walking to dinner Clooney and I spent the whole time horsing around. Needless to say, this dream wasn't a nightmare.

Ben McGrath, Last Night I Dreamt of Your Cousin

First and foremost, I welcome myself back to this post which I have so treacherously abandoned. Were I a boatswain in his majesty's navy circa, well any time, I more than certainly would have been court-martialed for falling asleep at the stern, as it were.

And for you that can't deal with the allusion to all things nautical, what can I do but paraphrase one Vince Vaughn: "Sailing is like sex" to my people.

And so it is on that note that I turn to the mental narrative occupying my unconciousness last night, featuring one Mr. Luke Wilson, your future boyfriend and mine. Basically, we didn't do much, just held hands and went on a tour of his parents townhouse, which oddly enough was not in Dallas, but some nebulous non-descript metropolis. It was decorated with art deco building blocks. You know those futuristic tiles from the late 30s, early 40s?

I knew it was too good to be true when I saw that from his mom's room you could walk straight into Saks Fifth Avenue.

Ben McGrath and Luke Wilson Sing "We Are Family"-Gawker

And may I be the first to introduce you to the Luke Wilson Dance Party.

Check this out: Family Guy: Brians Book

Trailer Park OC

Last night I dreamt I was in a trailer...and there was Sandy and his wife from the OC, busy planning a bar mitzvah. Then, later I was instructing Ryan's girlfriend about where to go to college as we all stood around in the living room of the house i grew up in. bizarre.

move over liam

A few nights ago I dreamt that I was at work, and Steve Carell was one of the division chiefs at work. I talked to him about making 40 year old virgin, and he was real sweet about it. Later on in the dream, and he was always there. My current supervisor was telling me he was interested in me and I was like huh? Steve Carell?

For Betty

http://shop.gawker.com/cgi-bin/shopper.cgi?preadd=action&key=GWT01

Skip this one.

My parents are friends with two couples that they've known since college. So all of us kids grew up together, etc. Last night I dreamt that one of the kids in one family was really the son of the dad of the other family. It was weird and I didn't like it. Why did I have to dream something disturbing like that, why couldn't it just be nice and Sherpa like, with soccerballs and stuff.

Blech

Last night I dreamt that I was looking myself in the mirror, but i had facial hair everywhere. I was a hairy lil' ol sherpa. The worst thing about it is i remembered shaving it off twice but to no avail, back it came with a vengance.

With tha KILL!!!!!!!!

Well, I got my wish, sorta. Last night's creation involved me being in this two-person team volleyball tournament. While volleyball was one of the activites that I did actually feel I could competently participate in during PE in junior high...There's no way I've got hops enough to punch like Misty May. And thus no way in hell I'd ever do something like that in real life. So in the dream the odd thing was my team partner was this guy (no clue who it was...) And I was wearing rasta colored socks. And I gratefully didn't have to actually play, because before we got to the court, someone had thrown slime and noodles all over the court. So instead I had to clean it up (and not show everyone what a sucky player I was? DARN!)

PS if the playing partner in question had been Matt Fuerbringer, I don't think I could have played either, because I would have been in gorgeousness-induced paralysis. 6' 7" Stanford grad, and an Aquarius. Unfortunately, married.

Darn you Betty!

So, last night the last thing i read was SaucyBetty saying how she's jealous of my dreams...Last night I proceeded to have a dream about three different dudes. All three were at my parent's house. I know the three from real life. Two in my ward and the other was an ex boyfriend. Well, the main part of the dream was me trying to make sure the three boys in the house didn't know of each other. And then my lil' bro was in the dream showing me a book...but i can't remember what the book was. The ex-boyfriend was putting the moves on, but I didn't want him to....mostly because i was mad that we hadn't communicated for over a month.

Somehow it seems appropriate here

Hey, so I have this dream of actually meeting Saucy Betty and I was talking to my folks yesterday and they mentioned going to LA or San Diego over Christmas.....................

I was going to post my latest dream here...

But honestly, who cares.

Could have done without that one.

So the dream last night was that my ex-something created a linkup profile because our mutual friend told him about the site. I was embarrassed that he'd read my profile because I'm fat. Now that I'm not in the reverie of dreamland, I can't tell you how many things are wrong with this scenario. One, the guy is married so I seriously doubt that he'd make a linkup profile; if he did because he was looking to "date"...who needs him! I will never reward a cheater. Two, if, indeed I am feeling fat, you can't tell it by looking at my profile picture, that's for sure. Three...I could give a crap about this guy! I haven't thought about him in years.

On a related note...notice how Ruby's dreams are all about Grandparents and soccerballs and Trader Joes? Things that have nothing to do with relationships/dudes. Another reason I envy the Ruby.

Indecision re: allocation of resources. In other words, boring.

Well this one is going to be a fragment. For those of you who don't know, I used to live in North County San Diego. Liked it lots. My grandma lived there too, in Oceanside, until she passed away on New Years this year. Anyway, in my dream last night, I was in a room, like a library or study in a house, and there were posters in a stack on this table that was pushed up against a book case. In my dream it was my Grandma's house, but in real life, it looked nothing like it. For some reason I was trying to figure out wether I wanted to go visit my old roommate that still lives down there. And then I woke up. It was a weird wake up though. Like I was in the middle of my dream, and suddenly my brain switched on and was like, "time to get up!"...at 5:45am. Thanks brain.

Dirty Mattress

So all I remember about my dream last night is that I was somewhere in like a warehouse or something, and there were all these people in rows laying on mattresses sleeping right next to eachother. It wasn't a bad context either, say like being in a shelter or prison camp or whatever. So then out of nowhere secret crush #1 lies down next to me (lays? lies? I'm an English major...I should know this!!!!!) and I'm like wtf? He was nice and it was totally innocent, but then I got up and left because I couldn't deal with it. That's all I remember, I'm sure there was more to it. Really wish I would stop dreaming about him. I don't even think about him in the waking life...

Not the pounds I want to lose!

When did I have this dream? Probably from Thursday-Friday night last week. In real life, I just got back from London. I had been working at a law firm there for a couple of weeks. They paid me "under the table"--cash in an envelope. I dreamt that I got a letter from them and they were like, "Could you please send us back £50 from what we sent you? We evaluated the work you did and feel that we overpaid."

I don't really know why I had this dream, because in real life they were very complimentary of the work I did...calling people and sending letters and stuff. Whatevs. I think I had the dream because I thought I got paid crap. That's probably it. Rule Britannia.

It's official. I had another losing my teeth dream. In this one I had a loose tooth that I was wiggling and it just came right out. It wasn't painful, but I could see a tooth underneath. Even though it was just a minute detail in my dream...We all know what that means! Classic "loss of power" metaphor. The interesting twists being...I pulled it out myself, meaning I'm the one making myself powerless; and there was what looked like another tooth poking out below, which would indicate slow development....just now getting my adult teeth at 30! Again proof that dreams don't really tell us anything that we didn't know to begin with.

tsunami

i dreamt that i was in a tsunami...after the waves washed over us and everyone was okay, we just sat on the beach watching the other waves

ERRONEOUS!! ERRONEOUS!!

Picture it, The Italian Lake Country, 2005. I was stoked to go to Italy, but bummed that I would only have time to visit where I'd already been...Lago di Como (Which in reality I have NOT been to, and is like the only place in Italy I wanna go, well that and Positano, and Cinque Terre, and back to Ischia and Capri, and Cortina d'Ampezzo.) Ok, so I fly in on this Sea Plane looking thing, and I'm there with my sister, who mysteriously never visually appears in the dream. So, all of a sudden, I am in a private room, presumably in the hotel where I'm staying, and Vince Vaughn is getting all up ons. I don't think he's Italian, but who knows. All of a sudden our little nooky-fest is interrupted because my plane is departing (told you it was a quick trip!) in five minutes, and I haven't even packed. I rush into my room to throw my things together, and can't even find my sister. But somehow it comes about that we're leaving at another time. So I go back to "resume" with Funtime Vince, only to find he's just stepped into the elevator to leave and take off for wherever he's going.

So do you see what I mean? I don't even get what I want IN MY DREAMLIFE. And how about this picture? I don't think it's really Vince. More like Vincent Perez, he of the smouldering gaze.

And yes, to date, I have seen Wedding Crashers 3 times and paid full price.

PS I think the lake country was the setting because I just watched the new Gwen Stefani video, which is set there. That bitch has everything.